Supporting Safe Digital Habits
We continue exploring the findings of “Ysafe”, an online digital safety organisation on “Addressing the Struggles and Pressures of Parenting in a Digital World”.
1) Supervision vs. Surveillance: Striking the right balance
Issue: Balancing the right level of supervision with the right level of trust is not an easy task and is made even more complex by the ability of young people to freely access content or talk to strangers, especially when much of it can disappear.
Action: Consider implementing strategies for both passive and active supervision and applying restrictions according to your child’s age and maturity, also considering the existing level of trust between you. Be warned, though: The more you block, the harder children will look to find a way to bypass the rules with things like dummy phones, secret burner accounts, and VPNs. These are just a few of the workarounds young people use, which can often lead them down even riskier paths, including the dark web.
Passive strategies | Active supervision |
No headphones | Install parental control tools, including WiFi network, device, and in-app controls. |
Access only on the family computer in public places of the home | Use ad-blockers. |
Give access, not ownership, when it comes to their first phone. | Use Google safe search and YouTube restricted mode. |
Ensure all devices are kept out of the bedroom at night. | Regularly check how accounts are setup, if accounts are still linked, and strict privacy settings are in place. |
Honesty policy |
|
Group chats: The unseen dynamics
Issue: Group chats are a place young people socialise online, sharing memes and photos, catching up on the latest gossip, and ensuring everyone has done the homework due tomorrow.
Not all the content is inappropriate or toxic, but negative online behaviours can fester and grow in this space, largely due to what is known as the online disinhibition effect. Simply put, the perceived anonymity and invisibility when interacting online may cause some people to disclose more or act out more frequently than they would in person. Behaviours such as embarrassing nicknames, cyber flashing, harassment or online bullying, to name a few, are common GC (group chat) behaviours. Being forcibly removed or kicked out of a GC leaves a young person voiceless and silenced, wondering what happened.
Admins of a GC can rule with an iron fist and remove people on a whim. We also see secondary, ‘private’ smaller GCs pop up, with only ‘besties’ invited. This can lead to whispering outside the main GC as well as exclusion and other cruel, unkind behaviour.
Action: The recommended conversation between parents and young people differs for different age groups:
- For younger children, encourage help-seeking behaviours while setting boundaries around chat groups and what’s appropriate. Teach them how to recognise the signs their bodies are giving them when things are not right and how they should seek help. This will assist in the prevention and intervention of negative experiences.
- Middle schoolers who are very curious about social spaces and games need lessons in POV (point of view), perception and the permanency of digital behaviours and how they affect social circles IRL (in real life).
- High schoolers need real-world modelling from adults on how they would navigate tricky work emails or friendship group chats, deal with feelings in healthy ways, and ultimately build resilience and emotional stability.
For more support and information please see the esafety commission website
ySafe Insights Report, 2025
God bless,
Ms Alison Menzies
Deputy Head of Senior School – Health and Wellbeing
